Author: Lori Carter
There is no limit to the emotions we can feel. Loneliness, hatred, anger, sorrow, depression, love and joy are among the major emotions, all of which can be felt in just one day. Each day there is something new that finds its way to the forefront of our lives that can ruin the day for us, if we let it. I like to call some of these the demons of everyday living.
I try to learn something new each day. I try to view my attitudes and feelings from the previous day to see what areas I need to work on. While it is hard to listen to someone who bemoans their lot in life continuously, I have learned that there are efforts we can make that can help them concentrate on the positive aspects of their lives. It isn’t hard to do, and you are doing them a huge favor it you can learn this trick.
It is sad, but true, that most people exaggerate their circumstances. They don’t necessarily lie, but because they want the person who they are speaking with to understand just how important and devastating this event is, they tend to build it out of proportion. I have been guilty of this in my past life. I felt betrayed, used, abused and just wanted someone to tell it to.
Over the years, I have found that just relating the basic facts about something is much better. I have also learned, when I talk to someone who is relating something bad, I can only accept a certain percentage of it as the absolute truth.
I have one sister who looks at the world through rose colored glasses and another who seems to always be in turmoil. I guess I am the result of when these two opposites meet in the middle. I try to keep as much negativity out of my daily life as possible. I don’t like the way it feels. I am sympathetic to anyone who is going through a hard time and try to listen to their tales of woe, giving what sound advice I can, letting them know that I love them and are praying for them. I try not to let the conversation go too long in the negativity.
How can this be done? Try this. If you have friends or family members that constantly hound you about their horrible lives, try to interject some positive elements into the conversation. Instead of simply telling them how sorry you feel for their circumstances and letting them know you are praying for them, try to turn the conversation toward a positive note before it ends.
What are their likes? Do they have hobbies they like to work at, certain, favorite movies, music, books or activities that you know about? Can you see the many things they are blessed with, that they are not noticing at this moment? Bring one of those subjects up, change the course of the conversation. Ask them what happened on the last episode of their favorite sitcom, or how far they are into a certain book. Remind them of a funny or happy event, or invite them to do a positive activity with you.
If you can turn the conversation around to a positive subject before it ends, you have given them a special gift for the day. Misery loves company, but if you aren’t feeding the demons, they will quickly die out.