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In Search of “Me”

Author: Lori Carter

pathWho am I? I mean, really, who am I? Haven’t you ever asked yourself that question? Have you ever sat down, in a quiet place and looked at who you are? What are your hobbies, your likes, dislikes? What motivates you? What irritates you or makes you angry, hurt, remorseful, obstinate or stubborn? Do you, have you ever compromised your beliefs, your morals, the very rules that you live by? Do you agree with people and things that you normally wouldn’t for the sake of not arguing, or to be accepted?

Unfortunately we live in a very immoral society where just about anything is acceptable. Without realizing it, many people go through their day agreeing with people they really don’t agree with. They have become passive to be accepted. They have compromised their beliefs just to be recognized, or included. No one wants to be left out.

I ask the question of “who am I” because it has been on my mind quite a lot lately. First off I believe I am a Christian. I believe in God who sent his son, Jesus, as intercessor for our prayers and forgiveness. I believe in the helper “the Holy Spirit” that was sent after Jesus left to guide us and help us through this life. I have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit many times. I am not religious because religion is a legal system now, but I am spiritual. I don’t belong to any one denomination, I am Christian and that is the bottom line.

I believe there is so much more than what we see, hear, are told and taught. I believe in Angels, not as someone we pray to, but someone God sends at times to watch over us and help us. But what else do I believe in? Who am I really? I believe in trying to live by the original Ten Commandments and will go so far in being honest that I will hold back words or conversations to avoid hurting people with the truth. Am I too complacent? Am I too passive? Maybe at times, but I believe that patience and prayer will persevere more than harsh, hurting words.

My life seems to have always been involved in the needs and problems of others. There was always someone who needed something from me, whether it was financial, moral or spiritual support, the need was always placed at my doorstep. This happens to a lot of people, without their asking. Parents die or abandon their children to grandparents. Neighbors get involved in the problems of other neighbors, friends or relatives and soon find themselves being relied on for the solutions and answers. Children end up taking care of their elderly parents, grandparents or the children of relatives. Soon their lives become so wrapped around all of this that they lose themselves.

These days, everyone is so busy running around, doing this or doing that, they often forget who they really are. They lose their identity because they are so involved in lives of so many others. They don’t take the time to sit down and reflect on who they are. Do they have the moral values they are teaching, preaching or telling others about? Do they often agree with something totally against what they believe, maybe not even noticing it, but do it all the same just to keep the peace?

Who am I? I’m not sure I have ever gone looking for myself? I want to believe that I am a good person. I want to believe I am a good Christian, and I want to believe I daily walk with God, but do I? I have a 24 hour conversation with him. Even though it often seems one sided, I know he is listening. I want to believe those who compliment me, tell me how wonderful I am, how “Christian” I am, but I also know I can’t live in a fantasy world created by the words of others.

Maybe we should all go in search of “me”. Maybe more of the proclaimed “Christians” should take time to delve deep into themselves to find out who they truly are. I’m going in search of “me” and I have no doubt that what I find will need some work. No one is perfect, but it is important to know just who and what you truly are. You may find that you need some work, just as I expect to find as I go in search of “Me”.

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