January 4, 2017 – Time
There are 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week and 53 weeks in a year. There are 10 years in a decade and 100 years in a century. It sounds like a lot, but it seems to go so fast. I remember how I couldn’t wait until I was 18 so I could get out from under my parents rule. Then I couldn’t wait until I was 21 so I could drink alcohol legally.
For some reason, the time between 21 and 30 seemed shorter than from 18 to 21. From thirty to 50 seemed almost overnight and from 50 today seems like just a few hours. Time can slip away from us. We can become so busy that we lose track of time.
I get up at around 8:00 to 8:30 each morning and I usually have to take a nap around 2 or 3, not because I have exerted myself a lot but because of my age and medication side effects. Even on days when I take a shorter nap, the day seems to slip away. I never seem to get everything done that I want to, but I make sure that I have some time to relax before going to bed.
Even though I am disabled, there are still things that need to be done. It takes me longer to do my house work, there are runs to the stores for groceries or to pick up prescriptions. I have to go pay the bills, go to doctor appointments and check on mom each night. 24 hours a day just doesn’t seem long enough.
I have always put a bigger load on myself than was necessary. Even when I was working, I took on extra tasks because they needed to be done. But lately I am learning to pace myself a little better, developing house cleaning habits that make it less of a chore, and keeping things done up so I don’t have to spend a whole day on it. All in all, I’ve had a lot of time in my life. Good times, bad times, joyful times and sad times. Today I am thankful for all the time I’ve had and for all the time I will have in the future.
January 5, 2017 – Inner Peace
I used to go to bed with a thousand things on my find. I would go over events, problems, things people said or did and sometime it would be very late when I finally fell asleep. I felt that I had to find a way to solve all my family members problems. I felt that I was responsible finding all the solutions at work and I put such a burden on myself that the answers never seemed to come.
As I grew in my walk with the Lord, I learned that I could cast all my cares on him. It took awhile before I realized that I was not responsible for everyone’s needs or problems. It was not my place to solve everything for everyone. I learned to start clearing my mind at night, replacing all the stress and problems with prayers.
I started doing what I called “blanket prayers”. I would imagine a blanket spread out, and the person I was praying for seated in the middle of it. Then I would arrange in neat little piles next to this person all the things I wanted to pray about.
It might consist of their salvation, their peace of mind, their bad habits, their financial and family stresses. Then I would picture tying the blanket up, lifting it on my shoulder and walking out onto this gigantic hand. “The hand of God”. Would lay it down, tell him I was giving it to him, and then quietly drift off to sleep. It was my own “visible” method of giving it to God. Today I am thankful for the inner peace I have by doing this.
January 6, 2017 – Childhood
Everyone has many memories from their childhood. For a long time I though I only had bad memories, but as I have gotten older and started looking back, I find that I had many good and interesting memories as a child.
I played in the woods, gathered rocks and twigs and built forts and tree houses. I rode horses and climbed trees. I collected pretty leaves and learned to milk a cow. I had friends and school and sisters and brothers in each foster home, and while a few of them were not so good, there were two where I totally felt like family.
I read books, I explored grave yards, I joined the gymnastic team, I earned honor roll and merit roll, deans list, presidents list and citizenship awards. I was a junior librarian. I learned to sew, crochet, knit and cook.
I remember good Christmases and not so good ones. I had five moms, seven dads and multiple sisters and brothers. Some I liked, some I loved and some were just so so. Not many people can claim to have such a huge family. I’ve had best friends, I still do have some of them.
We had sleep overs, I went camping, I got to go the Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak. I saw the Grand Canyon and lived in several different states. I did a lot when I was a child and I find that I have many good memories, more than I thought I did. I was in a parade, I went to the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo. I went to theme parks and just so much more.
I learned many things from my parents and foster parents. Honesty, cleanliness, kindness, forgiveness, and love and last but not least, Jesus, were some of the things I learned about, but I also learned hate, abuse, dishonesty and emptiness. I have to say that the good outnumbers the negative and I learned a lot from all of it, the positive and the negative. Today I am thankful for my childhood.