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Doubt and Confusion, This Small Town, and Staying in Touch

question markMarch 27, 2018 – Doubt and Confusion

Doubt and confusion often go hand in hand. The simple definition of doubt is : to be uncertain and the simple definition of confusion is a situation in which people or and individual are uncertain about what to do or are unable to understand something clearly.

Just about everyone goes through periods of doubt and/or confusion. For some it is a lifelong condition called low self esteem. People with low self esteem tend to doubt that they can do anything or amount to anything. Many people like this have become this way because of the actions of another or group of people.

Many children become individuals who suffer from self esteem because they had parents teachers and bullies who told them constantly that they were “stupid, dumb, would never be able to do anything right”. I still suffer, somewhat from low self esteem because of the individual who abused me for 20 years.

Some people become doubtful or confused when there is a big decision to be made or they are getting a lot of negative input about the decision they have made.

Thomas was a doubter and didn’t believe in the resurrection of Christ until he saw proof. Gideon wanted proof from God in having god soak a fleece with dew and leave the ground around dry to prove he was going to do what he told Gideon he would do. Sarah and Abraham both laughed when they were told that they were going to conceive a child in their old age.

Doubt and confusion is a tool that Satan often uses. He would like nothing better than to have people doubting themselves and God. He would like nothing better than encouraging people to be confused about Gods words, Jesus Divinity and Gods love for us. Today I am thankful that I don’t doubt my God and I am not confused about Jesus.

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.


March 28, 2018 – This Small Town.

There are so many people in this little town that have become family to me. I’ve never had this anywhere else that I lived. In Cleveland, other than the people at church or work, I had no communications with neighbors. They mostly kept to themselves, involved in their own family, their own activities. I only saw my co-workers at work and the church members at church, but other than that, there wasn’t a whole lot of communication.

Sure, my brothers and sisters at church would hug me, pray for me if I needed it, but they also had their own concerns. I remember running into a few at the court house where I did my research at, and they would disappear quickly, before I could get through the metal detectors, and would not acknowledge that they even saw me.

People at the stores waited on me, and even though there were certain ones that I frequented quite often, they never had a kind word or even acknowledged that they had seen me before. Even when I lived in a small town in Vermont and a 55+ park in Florida, people stayed mostly to themselves.

After Ken passed away, many of the people at church shied away and no longer talked to me as they did when he was alive. I can only assume that they didn’t know what to say or I no longer fit in because they were all couples and I was now single.

But since I have moved to this small town, it doesn’t matter where I go, people talk to me. If I go in to pay my electric bill, the ladies at the counter don’t just take my money, they ask how I am doing, what I think about the weather, politics or something that happened in town. It’s the same at the post office and Walmart too. Everyone knows my name.

Just about every clerk, nurse, technician, doctor, cleaning people and the ladies that work in the cafeteria at the hospital know me by name and always stop to spend a few minutes chatting with me. Today I am thankful that the Lord saw fit to move me to this small town.

eyeMarch 29, 2018 – Staying in Touch

Before the internet, or unlimited long distance, and before speaker phones and cell phones, people stayed in touch by writing letters. Before social media sites, dating sites, or e-mail, people stayed in touch by writing letters. I stayed in touch with one of my foster sisters that way for many years after I left.

I lost touch with all my family members for many years. Part of them were in Arizona, some in Texas and mom and papa were in Mexico and then Colorado. While I used to write letters to them, my address book suddenly disappeared and since we moved around often, they couldn’t write to me any more either.

It was by chance, many years later, that my little sister remembered the place I worked at and called me there. We stayed in touch that way as often as we could, because I had no phone at home, and I didn’t want a certain individual to know I was back in touch with a relative.

It was a few months later that I was finally able to get out and head to where she lived. Several years later, I was also in touch with my older sister, my step father and my half brother and my half sister. My mother had already passed away while I was incommunicado with everyone.

I live close to my sis, but the times I get out to see her or she gets into town to see me is far and few between, but we stay in constant touch via phone and social media. Papa and big sis have passed on, but I make it a point to stay in touch with my little half brother as much as possible.

My son is gone, but we talked a few times a week when he was still alive, and the grand-kids live in Florida but seem to be too involved in their own lives to stay in touch with me, with the exception of the oldest. We talk on social media a couple times a week and if he has minutes, he will call. Today I am thankful the lord put me back in touch with so many, and I am thankful that he has shown me the importance of staying in touch.

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