March 30, 2018 – Heartaches
I can’t think of one person I know who hasn’t suffered from some form of heartaches. Some heartaches are worse than others. The loss of a job you loved is different from the heartache of losing a close friendship. Watching someone you care about go through some tough emotional times is a different kind of heartache than watching someone you care about go through a terrible illness.
The loss of a pet is a different heartache than the loss of your wallet or Id, but I think the worse heartache is the loss of someone you love. The loss of a child is also different from the loss of a spouse, and both are different from the loss of a parent or sibling.
Sometimes people who haven’t suffered the same heartaches that you have don’t quite understand what you are going through. They can’t feel what you feel, and they can’t see it through your eyes. Those people may often seem cruel when they don’t understand the length of grief, but there are some heartaches that never heal.
I’ve had my share of heartaches over the years. I have lost so many people that I loved. My father, my mother, two of my sisters, a stepfather, a husband and my son are just a few, and each heartache has hurt just as much as the others, often in different ways, and these are some of the heartaches that never completely go away.
But I have someone who helps me with these. His name is Jesus and he is always by my side, whispering in my ear that he will always be there, never leave me and will hold me up with his strength and love. He has sent so many that have been through the same heartaches that I have, that I no longer feel alone in them. Today I am thankful that I can take all my heartaches to him.
March 31. 2018 – Staying in Touch
My family was never one of those that stayed in touch much. I don’t ever remember meeting my aunt Joan, only met my aunt Carol twice when I was very young, met my fathers parents once when they visited us in Chicago, and was too young the last time I met my mom’s parents to even remember anything about them.
Proof of this was even more obvious when we were sent to the foster homes after my mother had her nervous breakdown. No one attempted to contact us or find out what happened with my mother or her children. In fact, I knew more about the relatives of my foster homes than I did of my own.
When I got married to the wrong person a few months after graduation, it seems that family just dispersed. My step-dad, mother, younger sisters and brother moved to Mexico, and my older sister, a year or so later moved to Texas.
As I moved around a lot when I was a young single mother, they often didn’t have an address to write to me at, and through unfortunate circumstances, I no longer had theirs. We connected a few times over the years though and wrote a few letters back and forth. The last letter I got from my mom was on a Friday, telling me she was going in for cancer surgery on Monday, but she died Sunday night from an accidental overdose of her pain medications and they assumed she didn’t take her asthma medications.
My sisters and I lost track of each other again for many years. I finally reconnected with my younger sister after about 18 years, but even though I finally connected with my older sister, it was a total of 33 years before I actually saw her again.
Sadly, I have lost too many over the years, my father to suicide when I was 5, my mother as mentioned above, my little sister Francie was murdered, my son died of an overdose, my step-dad and older sister passed away because of pneumonia. I know someday I will see them all again.
Since I have become a Christian, I have learned how important it is to stay connected with friends and family and through all the technical advances we have, I can easily talk to all of them, well those who want to be in contact a few times a week. Today I am thankful that God found a way to reconnect me with those I love.
April 1, 2018 – He is Risen
He suffered for our sins. He was beaten, he was abused, he was spit on, he was hated, he was wrongly accused and he was crucified. His message was one of obedience, forgiveness and love, with love being the one that he always talked about. He came as the final sacrifice for our sins, as an intermediary between us and the father so we could be forgiven and not suffer the consequences of Gods anger against our disobedience.
I don’t know about any of the other mothers out there, but knowing myself, the way that I do, the way that he knows me too, if I had been asked to sacrifice my son to save the world, I would probably look for other ways to save the world. Us mothers have a built in defense mechanism that makes us want to, always, protect our young, no matter how much trouble they might get into and no matter how old they are, so I know I would have protested giving my son as a final sacrifice.
But God did it. In fact he ordered it to be thus. His only begotten son, who he loved beyond any understanding of love was chosen by the father to be the final sacrifice for the sins of mankind. How it must have broken his heart to see his son, in human form, suffer all that he did before he returned to the father, but the good news is “He is Risen”
He went through all the emotions of man, the cruelty of man. He felt love, as he still does, but he also felt temptation, when Satan tempted him in the desert, and he felt anger with the money changers in his fathers house. He felt loss when he heard of the death of John and he felt love, unrelenting love for his disciples and all those around him.
He did what no man could do. He was in the grave three days and then arose and went on to see several of those who loved him most, to show them the truth of what he had preached and admonish them to continue the good work. If he hadn’t died so we could be forgiven an make it to heaven, then what would life be worth? Today I am thankful that he is “Risen”