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Discombobulated Days, Energy, Best Gift and Unworthy

question markApril 13, 2018 – Discombobulated Days

I learned several years ago to never try to completely plan my day out. No matter how much I tried, the more I planned the more would happen to interrupt what I had planned. Sure, there are days when there are activities that must be done, but I try not to plan too much around the necessary events. I call these my discombobulated days.

No one that I know appreciates discombobulated days. They interfere greatly with what you want to accomplish. It seems like everything can just fall apart if just one thing doesn’t go as you plan. I’ll give you an example. On infusion days, I usually go to the store afterward to stock up on what is needed because I want to enjoy the next day, a free day, but somehow that has all gotten twisted around and I have had to go to the store on free days because they changed the time of the infusions.

I don’t even try to completely plan out my free days. I will make a list of what I would like to accomplish and if I get anything done that I want, I cross it off the list and leave the rest until another day. This used to frustrate me a lot, but like my sis says “it is what it is” and I’ve learned to just do what I can and worry about the rest later. Today I am thankful that the Lord has given me the patience to get through these discombobulated days.

lighteningApril 14, 2018 – Energy

When I was a young person I seem to have an endless supply of energy. I could go all day and most the night and not feel exhausted or tired. In fact, I even had problems gaining weight. I was a skinny little thing, always smaller than most people my age.

My mom had the doctors check me out one time and they said I had a very high metabolism. They said I didn’t gain weight because I never slowed down, I burned up everything as soon as I consumed it. All of that changed years later. As I grew older, I slowed down.

Even in my 40’s though I still had enough energy to work eight to twelve hours a day, go to dinner, come home and clean, and then get up every two hours to make international calls from home for the company. I was the person who always had everything organized and done before it was due.

Today, because of different diseases I have and medications, I don’t have enough energy as I want. On most days I end up taking at least a two hour nap. I’m energized in the morning when I first get up and then around two or three I hit that wall and have to go lay down. So much for time released medications, huh?

There are days when just vacuuming three rooms completely wears me out and I feel like such a failure because I can’t keep the house as squeaky clean as I would like it. Don’t get me wrong, the house is clean, but there was a time when I would mop and vacuum every day. But, even with this huge lack of energy in my life now, I am still thankful for the energy that I do have for I know those who have no way near as much.


April 15, 2018 – Best Gift

A gift is a gift, a present. It is not something you should ever have to pay back. I’ve heard conversations over the years concerning the gifts that people have received. I’ve heard good comments and bad. I’ve hear people talk about how they thought a gift was cheap, beneath them, less than they thought they deserved and I’ve heard people complain that they didn’t care for the gift they received or couldn’t use it.

I have appreciated every gift that I have ever received. I know that most of them come from the heart and a few come from what others feel is an obligation. Growing up poor, I learned to be thankful for all the gifts I received and tried to make good use of every one. It’s true that sometimes people don’t give you a gift that you enjoy, and is usually because they buy what they would like, just assuming that if they like it, you will like it too.

I’m sure that there are probably times in my life where a gift I picked out wasn’t appreciated as much as I thought it would be. I’m sure that there were times that I chose something I liked instead of considering what they other person might like.

There is a gift that I received that I will always cherish. That is the gift of salvation, of eternal life promised by Jesus when I repented of my sins and accepted him has my Lord and Savior. This is the type of gift that you not only get to keep and use forever, but it is also one that you can share with others my sharing the word of God and telling others about Jesus. Today I am thankful for the eternal gift of salvation that I was promised by the Lord,.

oldman prayingApril 16, 2018 – Unworthy

Have you ever felt unworthy? Have you ever felt embarrassed when someone praises your for something you said or did? I have, many times in my life. I have never been one who knows how to react when someone pays me a compliment or when someone builds me up in front of others.

There have been times in my life where I was rewarded for something I did and I didn’t feel like I had earned that reward. I felt like there was more I should have said or done. I felt unworthy, that I didn’t deserve the reward, bonus or award.

I felt this way at a few jobs, when my boss would pat me on the back and tell me “well done”, or would hand me a bonus check, or as with the last company give me an award and a gift of some sort. To me it was earned, I only did my job, I only did what I was supposed to do.

Most of my life I have been an over achiever. In school I was the nerd with all the high grades, with the awards for Citizenship, Deans List, Presidents List, Honor Roll and Merit Roll. In fact when I went to college in my late thirties, they created a special award for me “Overcoming Odds”, because I never gave up. When most people would have quit after missing a week or two, I hung on after missing two weeks because of an accident.

I like to believe that I will always try to do my best in any given circumstance, but still I feel unworthy of anyone taking notice or complimenting me. We are all unworthy of God’s love, mercy and care, but he gives it to us anyway when we accept his son as Lord of our lives. Today I am thankful that he still loves me even thought I am unworthy.

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